Clint's Codex

Last year, Craig R. Smith posted this essay. I think it's worth repeating as we head into the holiday season.


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Posted: November 20, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern



The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? The same magazine that employs Michael (Qurans in the toilets at Gitmo) Isikoff. Here I promised myself this week I would be nice and I start off in this way. Oh what a mean man I am.

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I starting thinking, ''What we are so unhappy about?''

Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all involved. Whether you are rich or poor they treat your wounds and even, if necessary, send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home, you may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of having a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes; an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells. Just ask why they are going to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book and do a TV special about how he didn't kill his wife but if he did … insane!

Stop buying the negative venom you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

I close with one of my favorite quotes from B.C. Forbes in 1953:

''What have Americans to be thankful for? More than any other people on the earth, we enjoy complete religious freedom, political freedom, social freedom. Our liberties are sacredly safeguarded by the Constitution of the United States, 'the most wonderful work ever struck off at a given time by the brain and purpose of man.' Yes, we Americans of today have been bequeathed a noble heritage. Let us pray that we may hand it down unsullied to our children and theirs.''

I suggest this Thanksgiving we sit back and count our blessings for all we have. If we don't, what we have will be taken away. Then we will have to explain to future generations why we squandered such blessing and abundance. If we are not careful this generation will be known as the ''greediest and most ungrateful generation.'' A far cry from the proud Americans of the ''greatest generation'' who left us an untarnished legacy.

Just spent a weekend up in Ridgecrest, where it was a nice, "cool" weekend... I think the high was about 102. Visited with the fam, saw Roger B. and John F. out at the park, fightin' shinai.. that's all that's left of a group of about 20 that used to be out there ever weekend, rain or shine. Kinda sad. Picked up some planks to make shelves out of. And Dad gave me a bunch of tools to replace the ones I lost in the various basement floods we endured back in NY. Thanks, Daddio.
( More Weekend Updates for the morbidly curious. )

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the very handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

Ugh, I'm actually posting. But this is too exciting not too...

http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/index.php?category=3&id=36865

Dragons Take Wing In Movie

Cindi Rice, co-executive producer of the upcoming animated fantasy movie Dragons of Autumn Twilight, told SCI FI Wire that the film will remain true to the book by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman, the first in their Dragonlance Chronicles series. "I'm extremely proud of the creative team I brought together," Rice said in an interview. "George Strayton has written a very cool script while staying true to Margaret's and Tracy's vision. Will Meugniot is simply an animation genius, and he's helping us create a very innovative and complex film. It is a joy to work with both of them."

Helmed by Meugniot (the animated X-Men TV series) and written by Strayton (Cleopatra 2525, Xena: Warrior Princess), the movie will feature the voices of Xena star Lucy Lawless and Michael Rosenbaum (TV's Smallville).

The Dragonlance saga was developed from the venerable Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game series and evolved into a series of books, originally created by Hickman.

Rice said that the Dragons movie is in the final stages of preproduction. "We've already recorded 90 percent of the voices, and we'll be finalizing the animatic [animated storyboard] next month," she said. She added that the movie would combine traditional 2-D animation and computer-generated 3-D elements.

It's taken 20 years to go from book to movie, and script development began in March 2005. "I've been waiting a long time to see Dragonlance made into a movie," Rice said. If the movie is successful, Rice said that she hopes to make other movies based on the books. Dragons of Autumn Twilight will be released worldwide by Paramount in the fall of 2007. —Carol Pinchefsky

This was forwarded to me: 

I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, at least I still have my driver’s license.

From my father…

On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sightseeing. He was cruising along a campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless scrawny disheveled Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, and a “Save the Whales” T-shirt, was struggling frantically, thrashing around and trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10-foot grizzly. 

As the Pope watched, horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other carefully placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he told them. “I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but I’ve now seen with my own eyes that is not true.” 

As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies, “Who was that guy?”

“It was the Pope, you idiot!” another replied. “He’s in direct contact with God and has access to all God’s wisdom.” 

“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all God’s wisdom, but he sure doesn’t know anything about bear hunting. On that note, is the bait holding up OK or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?”

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all swam to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m just here to feed the alligator.”

Old men can still think fast.

Man, what I wouldn’t give for a game like this…

Check out this Microsoft 360 ad that will never actually get aired.

Talk about fun! :)

This was sent to me by my aunt; first thing that made me laugh today:

Merry Yule, everyone!

Ok, so anyone dropping by here in hopes of finding a clue on what to get me for the holidays here (greedy, ain’t I?) here’s a BIG hint..

The Ultimate Darth Vader Costume

Not that I would ever have a use for this. Aside from Halloween. Every year from now until I die.

Turkey Day approaches, and I thought I’d archive this email I wrote for a list I’m on.

> Giggle. Thanksgiving originally was meant as a non-secular
> thing- it was giving thanks to God for the Harvest and the
> comfort that they would not likely starve over the winter.

Yeah, that’s kinda what I was hinting at. Allow me to put on my ‘Wannabe Historian’ Hat.

It was the waning days of the Old West when an Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand, pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the counter guy, “Want coffee.”

“Coming right up,” is the reply, and he gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, tosses down a coin for the coffee, and walks out.

What A Legal System.

A Charlotte, NC man having purchased a box of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires”.

T

I very much doubt the veracity of this story. It’s funny, nonetheless.

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. “I’ll be right back and we’ll go to eat,” she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

So, I’m reading the Armour Archive, and a thread about violence erupts and evolves into a thread about bullies. It goes a little something ilke this:

>> I’ve kicked the asses of a couple of bullies. That stopped the abuse right there.

> Yay you. And for those who are not inclined toward violence, or don’t care to escalate beyond saying “Stop it!” what is your solution?

My initial response is “Make more friends.”

I decided to not get involved in the thread, I could see it was going to be one of those pig-wrasslin’ affairs. But I did want to share this story, which explains what I mean by the rather pithy remark “Make more friends.”

When I was in 10th grade, I lost a good deal of hearing in my right ear. One day, on my way to a biology class I truly hated, I saw a ‘gangsta’ hassling a fellow classmate, Rob. I barely knew the kid, but he was a good guy, and stood barely five feet tall. Easy pickings for a bully. So I went and put a stop to it. No violence, really, just put myself between the ne’erdowell and Rob. Some threats and some staring, and it’s over. I turn my back on the punk to check on Rob, signifying this confrontation is at an end. Next thing I know, I’m watching the floor spin around wildly. The bully had boxed my ear from behind, slamming my head into the wall in the process, then took off running. Proof of the notion that all bullies are cowards at heart. Ruptured my ear drum and gave me a slight concussion. So I spend a night or two in the hospital. There’s a bit of stir a school, suspensions are threatened, there’s parent-teacher conferences, etc.

Best part was, this thug is in a gang, right? Well, he didn’t know I was tutoring the gang leader’s little brother in math class. So word gets around and I learn that the strike-from-behind coward is out of school for some time, seems he’s managed to break both of his legs.

It’s like I said, make more friends.

In the following, excerpted from the book The Life of Colonel David Crockett (1884), compiled by Edward S. Ellis, the famous American frontiersman, war hero, and congressman from Tennessee relates how he learned — from one of his own backwoods constituents — the vital importance of heeding the Constitution and the dangers of disregarding its restraints.

So, I’m sitting in my cube here at work and a new co-worker, Jen, drops by to ask if I have change for a dollar. I do, so I start rummaging through my wallet for a single.

Jen then asks “Is that your daughter?” 

Huh?

“Excuse me?” I say, all puzzled.

“The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.”

- John Walter Wayland (Virginia 1899)

So.. I’m looking at moving.  Yet again.  I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve moved.  At least 30.  I’ve lived in houses big and small.  In apartments.  In condos, townhouses, military housing.  I’ve lived alone, with room-mates, and with family.

The only thing I haven’t tried yet is a loft.. and the whole ‘dorm’ experience.  The latter doesn’t appeal to me at all.  The former kind of does.  I like big, open spaces.

One of these days, I’ll finally settle down.  And when it comes time to buy my own house, I gotta remember these two places:

Dome Homes

Castle Magic 

Tax Cuts - A Simple Lesson In Economics

Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: